Investigating Henema Fa is like opening a birthday present, upside down, only to find that the present was a mutant scorpion which has now fallen onto the floor and stung your foot, injecting pure art straight into your bloodstream.

As I clear the remains of the creature from my shoes, I ask myself the simple question: ‘Is investigating Henema Fa really like opening a birthday present, upside down, only to find that the present was a mutant scorpion which has now fallen onto the floor and stung your foot, injecting pure art straight into your bloodstream, or have I wasted this opportunity for a clever insight and ruined my shoes?’. This indecision and lack of commitment to my own tropes and metaphors is a direct result of viewing Fa’s work. She pickles the eyes of her viewers, scrambling their preconceptions and serving the concoction back to the viewer as haute couture artfood, which, when you swallow it, quickly self-implodes and delivers a magnificent blow to the aesophagus, like an AK47. On crack. In a bedsit. In hell.

Blind, black, disabled stupid lesbian Henema Fa recently won the Arts Council's new £90,000 grant for blind, black, disabled stupid lesbians ‘challenging attitudes and preconceptions in the community’. Fa ‘confronts preconceptions’ and ‘represents minorities’ by making them truly sorry for being different. Holden Biscuit, a spokesperson from the Arts Council had this to say about the award:

‘It’s about time that the world stood up to itself and acknowledged these members of the community. Our research shows that less than 0.01% of the workforce are disabled, blind, black, lesbian and stupid – what sort of advert is that for inclusivity and anti-discrimination? At the Arts Council we are committed to turning up the volume of the voices of marginalization. So much so that we’ve had to buy new LuftWaffe speakers to use on our rallies. By the end of our nationwide tour we hope to have installed blind, black, disabled, stupid lesbians in many of the high ranking government positions, as well as handing over the keys to money factories to them and giving them our children to play with.’

Some critics of the Arts Council initiative claim that Henema Fa is a bad choice for the award. It is claimed that Fa became black during a ski-ing accident, and has only recently turned to lesbianism after years as a failing hetero. She has, however, been stupid all her life.